


But It Feels So Good

by happily_missy



Series: XFactor Diaries [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hand Jobs, M/M, Pining, Sad Zayn, mention of Danielle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-21 05:23:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9533633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happily_missy/pseuds/happily_missy
Summary: Part 2 of The XFactor Diaires series.Zayn had stupidly agreed to give his best friend, Liam, kissing practice; his very taken, very straight best friend. Now it was over he had to deal with consequences of everything going back to normal.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A million thanks to my Beta Julia who read this in like 500 word increments giving me fabulous and almost incoherent comments throughout the whole thing, and to Liz who kept yelling at me to "finish it already!"  
> Love you guys so much.

Zayn didn’t know what was happening.

Well actually he did. Nothing. Nothing was happening.

And yet everything had happened.

_Zayn, you taste so good, fuck._

Zayn’s head was swimming because he remembered Liam’s words, his soft touches, his wet lips, his fit body pressing into him … but he also remembered Liam sitting up, shaking his head as he threw his shirt on, laughing, AND THEN NEVER BRINGING IT UP AGAIN.

It had been two weeks. Two whole weeks and Zayn thought he was dying, real actual death. He was gonna die of a broken heart and shattered dreams and no one could do anything about it.

No one except Liam who was seriously acting like nothing had happened.

SERIOUSLY?

Zayn was sitting on the couch of one of their many hotel rooms they kept moving to during their XFactor tour, watching Louis and Niall play FIFA, and he just didn’t know what to do.

“Hey Zayn, budge over yea?” Zayn hadn’t even heard Liam enter the room and now he was looking down at him expectantly from above the couch.

“Uh, sure. Ok.” Zayn said, mumbling as he moved over and Liam sat right up next to him. But this was normal. They always did this … but it was different for Zayn now and it seemed just so normal to Liam.

Zayn wished he cared a bit more … wish Liam cared a lot more really, but they just sat there, pressed together on the couch, making normal conversation and Zayn just curled in on himself more not knowing what to do.

Should he try again? Maybe ask Liam if they could practice again?

No, that was so lame. One act of stupidity had been enough.

Zayn knew that it was going to kill him and he had still agreed to it. Stupidly agreed to give the love of his life kissing practice. _Kissing practice_. Zayn cringed. It had seemed like such a perfect idea in the moment and Liam had looked so sad and Zayn just needed to help him and make him feel better.

Make himself feel better more like.

And now he had opened a gate that he can never unclose. Now, instead of dreaming about what it would be like to kiss Liam he actually knew and fuck that was definitely 100% worse.

All they did was kiss. So why did it feel like everything to Zayn.

… and nothing to Liam?

Zayn looked over at Liam once more but then regretted it instantly.

He was texting Danielle.

And there were heart emojis.

“I’ll see you guys later,” Zayn said sitting up. Louis and Niall just waved their goodbyes but Liam looked up at him confused.

“Ok, bye.” Liam said flatly but Zayn didn’t care and went out the door.

***

Two weeks turned into two months.

They toured, sang, did interviews, met fans, hung out together just like usual but Zayn couldn’t seem to make himself care about what they were doing. He tried, he did, he really did, but seeing Liam be normal, like grossly _normal_ , around him was too much. He watched as Liam’s eyes crinkled and lit up when he got a call or text from her, how he would leave the room with a silent smile on his face and Zayn just knew why, but then Liam would come back and cuddle up next to Zayn like it was nothing.

One month after their kiss Zayn had stopped cuddling back and so Liam, with a slightly confused look etched on his puppy dog face the first time Zayn had shied away from him, had stopped initiating.

It was better this way, Zayn kept telling himself. Every time he walked away from Liam on stage, scooted away from him on the couch, stopped holding eye contact; that’s what Zayn told himself. Until suddenly they weren’t even speaking any more.

Well of course they spoke, but they never actually said anything, it was as if the words were dead and Zayn didn’t have enough life in him to change it.

Niall, Louis, and Harry were annoyed with the both of them but Zayn just ignored them.

So he smoked and attempted to forget about his problems.

 

***

 

Another month passed and now the X factor tour was over. Zayn had gone through the motions for a while but finally he was starting to feel like himself again. Laughing with the boys, smiling with fans, talking in interviews … He was done moping and pining for a guy that didn’t feel the same about him; it was time to live his life again.

They just had their last show and now he wanted to go out.

“LOUIS!” It was a 10 o’clock on a Friday night and Zayn was shouting from his hotel room, the few clothes he had now strewn across the floor, “LOUIS LET’S GO OUT YOU WANKER.” Louis, who was asleep on the couch in their suite in the next room, grumbled and rolled over as Zayn poked his head around their doorway.

“Piss off,” Louis mumbled into the couch pillow, and Zayn could see a little drool had leaked there. What a classy lad his mate was.

“Please Lou, come on, I need this. “ Zayn was now kneeling next to the couch, speaking to Louis’ back because he had rolled over in protest.

“Absolutely not,” Louis said, “We went out last night, remember? I’m knackered. Not my fault you stayed in.”

“Come on,” Zayn was pleading now, “It’s our last night before we go home, let’s make a time of it.” Zayn paused, taking in a deep breath, knowing how to convince Louis even though he didn’t want to say it, “let’s all go.”

“Everyone?” Louis turned over, eyebrow raised, “Even Liam?”

Zayn cracked his neck, a nervous tick, and nodded robotically, “Yea, even Liam.”

“You ever going to tell me what happened with you two?” Louis said, sitting up rubbing his eyes. Louis threw this out everyone so often, to see if Zayn would ever bite. He never did.

“Nothing happened,” Zayn said, looking down. Because you know what? According to Liam nothing had happened.

“Bullshit, but whatever,” Louis said, standing up quickly as he walked passed Zayn putting his phone to his ear, “at least you guys are on speaking terms again, however stilted, and if you want us all to go out, fuck if I’m gonna pass that up … Harry! Yea, we’re going out … tonight, yea, all of us … yea, all five … yes even him, it was his idea actually … Lovely! Bring the others.”

Louis hung up and looked at Zayn with a wicked grin on his face, “Let’s get smashed, yea?”

And yeah, that’s exactly what Zayn wanted.

 

***

 

The club was crowded; bright lights, loud music, bodies grinding up against each other. Everything Zayn was looking for.

They were up in their own VIP section with big couches and tables loaded with food and alcohol just for them and Zayn was leaning against the balcony railing, drink in hand, watching the club patrons dancing together in the crowd below. He turned around just briefly to see the other four boys laughing, Liam giggling into Louis’ shoulder over something hilarious the other boys must have done. Zayn faced the dance floor again trying to quell the desire in his belly because all he wanted was for Liam to be laughing with him, nuzzling against him, focused on him.

No, he needed to stop wallowing.

Zayn turned around and walked over to the guys. He could do this. Be normal. Socialize.

“Zaynnnnnnnie!” Harry yelled loudly with so much excitement as Zayn joined their group that Zayn couldn’t help but smile back at him. “Finally joining us, what were you looking at?”

“Nothing, just watching the crowd, people dancing and shit,” Zayn said, jerking his head behind him, he paused briefly before saying, “do you guys ever miss it?”

“Hmmm, miss what?” Liam asked first, startling Zayn, and Zayn just looked at him for a full second, then he shook his head and stared at his feet cause he suddenly was having trouble breathing.

Zayn wasn’t so sure inviting Liam had been a good idea, now that he was here in front of him looking gorgeous and so fucking inviting.

“Um, just like the normality of it, ya know? Our life before all this,” Zayn said, looking around at his four friends who were all nodding at him cause they knew what he meant, “like just being able to go down there and dance, like regular people ... I miss it.”

“Then let’s go dance,” Liam said, looking straight at Zayn. Was that an invitation? No, he had to stop thinking this way. No way was Liam asking to dance with him.

“Excuse me?” Zayn said, bewildered.

“Lets all go dance, we’re here already, no big deal if we go down there? Let’s get some of that normality back, yea?”

Zayn’s stomach dropped into his stomach for only a second before he chided himself for even going there in the first place.

“Fuck yea, let’s go” Niall said, pouring himself another shot as Louis and Harry chimed in their agreement, “shots up, boys!” and they all quickly poured themselves shots, Zayn spilling his all over the table when Liam touched his elbow and they had to pour him another, and the five of them toasted.

“To us,” Liam said, and Zayn swore he looked at him first. His belly flipped. This is exactly why he avoided Liam.

“To us!” They all shouted together and they downed their drinks.

“Let’s go before Paddy yells at us!” Louis shouted, laughing as they made their way hurriedly down the steps and past the security.

“Where you boys off to,” said one of their watchmen for the night, Zayn wasn’t sure of his name, but as Liam was crowding behind much closer than necessary it really didn’t matter.

“To dance! What do you think!?” Harry half laughed half shouted over his shoulder, and they all buckled over into drunken giggles with him as the man rolled his eyes, and so the five teenage boys made their way through the bustling crowd.

They pushed into the exact center of the dance floor, Louis leading the way, and then they all burst out laughing cause they actually did it, got here, and no one seemed to care that the boy band One Direction was dancing with them.

Ok, yeah, this was great. This was exactly what Zayn had wanted. He could deal with this, with all of it ... even Liam ... If they were all in this together then he could do it.

The last three months were just a little blip in his life, he decided, as the lights of the clubs flickered around him and music blared in his ears; he could totally get over Liam. Get over his beautiful face and perfect smile, his angelic voice and unbearable positivity. Zayn closed his eyes as he began to move to the music, trying to forget. He wanted to forget about how ridiculously compatible they were and just go back to being friends. To forget their kiss and how incredible it was so he could be a full member of One Direction again.

Zayn was beginning to lose himself to the music and the crowd, all of them were dancing together now, not well, but together nonetheless. Hot sweaty bodies pressed all around him pushing them together, and they all just kept laughing and drinking, not caring at all. Harry was getting handsy with Niall and Louis who were just giggling and dancing along with him. It was if the three of them had no cares in the world.

Zayn was jealous of their carefree attitude, none more so than now when he turned and was looking right at Liam.

They were so close. Too close. _Not Close enough_. Zayn was looking at Liam and Liam was staring right back at him and it just wasn’t fair. Liam was looking at him, a small smile creeping up on his face as he danced, moving his hips to the music, eliciting a small traitorous chuckle from Zayn. Liam’s hair was shorter now, styled up in a small quiff, and he just looked so good in his black t shirt and jeans. Simple yet perfect. The perfect recipe to ruin him.

Everything was so hot. The crowd, the music, the sweat dripping down Zayn’s back and Liam.

Liam who was still looking at him, the other boys dancing together paying them no mind.

Liam who was getting closer to him. Zayn suddenly couldn’t breathe and he didn’t know what to do. He needed to be cool, ignore him like he had been. He could do this.

This is why Zayn avoided him. Because his brain couldn’t function around Liam. No matter how many reasons Liam gave him to be mad or upset or betrayed … Zayn still had stars in his eyes for the kid.

Avoiding was his speciality. And it wasn’t a fucking option right now.

Liam was right in front of him, they were sharing the same air even though he couldn’t breathe, maybe Liam was taking it from him. Taking all his air, making his brain stop working, his heart pump faster, the sweat go cold on his hot body. It was all Liam.

“Hey” Liam said, smiling, and Zayn almost had to cross his eyes to see Liam’s face because of their proximity, “wanna dance?”

Zayn must be drunk because the first thing out of his mouth was a resounding “Yes” which made the smile on Liam’s face grow brighter and without a word he put his hands on Zayn’s narrow hips and flipped him around.

They were back to chest, Zayn’s body exploding into fireworks at the contact, and he swore he felt Liam nuzzle into his hair for just a moment.

Friends didn’t do that.

Friends didn’t kiss either.

Maybe they weren’t friends anymore.

But now they were dancing, and Liam kept his hands on Zayn’s waist and moved against him, slowly, tentatively. Zayn felt like he was going to break. He was on fire and felt like he was hot glass in between melting and shattering against Liam’s strong hands. All those months, all his hard work, fucking piecing himself back together after Liam broke him … and now Liam was here, dancing with him, his crotch against Zayn’s ass setting him on fire.

And Zayn was hard. So fucking hard he wanted to cry and he didn’t know what to do.

“Leeyum ….” Zayn must’ve whimpered it out loud because Liam was now breathing in his ear, his hands pressing hard into Zayn’s skin, pushing his dick - his hard dick - against Zayn’s jeans.

Holy shit, Liam was hard and it was because of him. Zayn’s head was swimming as his resolve steadily ebbed away. This was always going to be a losing battle.

“Fuck … Zayn,” Liam bit at his ear and Zayn thought he was dying. He wanted to cry and push Liam away. Yell at him and tell him no, he couldn’t do this. Couldn’t use Zayn again. But the alcohol was flowing and Liam was too present and Zayn still loved him.

Christ, he still loved Liam and he wanted to die.

Zayn instinctively craned his neck an infinitesimal amount to give Liam more room, maybe do more to Zayn if he wanted to, and to add a little more dirt onto his own grave.

Liam took the bait and now he was kissing Zayn’s neck. Actually kissing his neck with his perfect lips. Fucking shit, Zayn had missed this, and his whole body shook against Liam’s as Liam just continued to pepper kisses onto his skin. He was gonna shatter.

Zayn could feel Liam’s hot mouth, his plush, slick, wet, fucking _perfect_ lips against his sweaty skin, and then liam’s teeth, then his nose and then his lips again. Liam’s hand was grazing against the hem of Zayn’s shirt and the moment Zayn reached his own hand up to put a fist full into Liam’s hair, Liam slipped his hand under his shirt and dragged his nails across Zayn’s tummy.

“Zayn … shit, I’ve missed you so much … where have you been?” Liam said into his ear, and Liam’s voice broke on the last word. Zayn could feel himself crumbing as well, and he spun around in Liam’s arms, pushing his hands out of Zayn’s shirt and he just held onto Liam’s wrists. He needed to ground himself.

“No,” Zayn said, pushing their foreheads together, trying to hold back a sob, “No, you do NOT get to ask me that, Liam.”

“Zayn, I … “ Liam’s voice seemed to be caught in his throat and Zayn was surprised they could even hear each other over the din of the music. Nothing had changed around them; everyone was still dancing, still lost in the music, except them.

“You what, Liam?” Zayn said, shaking with emotion now, and he had to whisper into Liam’s ear so the other boy could hear him, “you kiss me and laugh about it? You touch me and then go back to Danielle? You use me and act like nothing happened, like we felt nothing, like you felt nothing.” Zayn took a deep breath, “I was _there_ Liam. something fucking happened, but you were too chicken shit to admit. I didn’t go anywhere. You, you were the one who left.”

Zayn pushed back, away from Liam, away from all of this. He worked too fucking hard to become himself again, Liam wasn’t going to take that away.

“So now,” Zayn said, looking resolutely at Liam, “now I’m the one leaving.” Zayn turned around in the thick crowd and started walking away.

“Absolutely not,” He could hear Liam behind him, his voice was so sure as he grabbed Zayn’s wrist, “not this time.” And then Zayn was being dragged through the crowd, up to their VIP area, and then back to one of the private rooms. Liam was stealthy, and Zayn was sure almost no one saw them enter the room. Zayn was about to marvel at his skill when Liam kicked the door closed behind him and was immediately crowding into Zayn’s space. Zayn felt hot and alive and like disaster was imminent. Liam pushed him against the wall, his large hands on Zayn’s pounding chest.

“Been thinking about you, babe” Liam said, his voice just above a whisper, their faces inches away from each other. “Can’t stop really, that’s the problem, innit? I see you everyday and still miss you. Even when I’m with her … I, _shit_ … Zayn, I can’t stop thinking about how good your mouth tastes.” and with that Liam brought his mouth down hard against Zayn’s, and Zayn did absolutely nothing to stop him.

Because kissing Liam was all Zayn had been thinking about for three solid months, over a year really but before it was just fantasty … this, this was reality. Liam tasted liked alcohol and soda and Zayn could feel his mouth smiling against his as if he were enjoying this as much as Zayn. Liam pushed Zayn’s mouth open with ease because Zayn let him, their tongues meeting each other like long lost friends and Liam sucked on his tongue hard making Zayn whimper embarrassingly loud into Liam’s mouth.

“Li … I … god, that feels amazing,” Zayn said as Liam broke away and started trailing kisses down his neck and bit down against his pulse point. “Liam, what … this isn’t fair, please … stop … Liam,”

“I can’t stop, Zayn and I don’t want to stop,” Liam brought his face back up to Zayn’s, their noses almost touching and as Zayn looked into Liam’s warm honey brown eyes and he saw a fire there he had never seen before. “Do you? Zayn, do you want to stop?”

Liams lips were swollen pink already, t shirt sweaty from dancing, his eyes were alight and Zayn thought he never looked better; looking ruined over him.

“No but …” Zayn just looked so helplessly at the boy in front of him. Cause yes, Liam was being so forceful and so … so fucking hot right now and wow. But Zayn could barely process the Liam he was dealing with, and that still under all … whatever _this_ was ... he was just a boy, Liam - his Liam.

“Liam, we need to talk to first.” Zayn said, trying to pull his face away. Liam didn’t seem to be listening, focused on kissing and biting his neck so intently Zayn was sure he would have marks in the morning. Beautiful, wonderful bruises he could marvel at and remember this moment by.

Zayn moaned, unable to repress it as Liam bit down particularly hard, and he could feel Liam smiling against his neck.

“But it feels so good … _so good_ Zayn, doesn’t it?” Liam had started to palm Zayn through his jeans, his voice catching in his throat as Zayn unconsciously bucked up against his hand.

“Christ, Liam, no fair,” Zayn barely made out the words as his fantasy was 100% coming to life right in front of him. He had imagined Liam touching him so many times, god, so many times it actually hurt. All those lonely nights on the bus and in their hotel rooms when the guys were out without him. Having to adjust his jeans during interviews when Liam brushed his thigh with his fingers just so … thinking about Liam while he showered, tugging hard and fast at his length with the idea of Liam’s pink lips around him … or even just during a performance when Liam would sing directly to him, to his soul ...

And now it was actually happening.

It was all terrible timing, three months too late, and Liam still painfully not available. Not to mention that Zayn was still so mad he could barely see, white hot anger filling his eyes as he thought of Danielle … but it was happening. Liam was touching him again and there was no way he was going to ever want to stop.

“Not fair, huh? You know what’s not fair, babe?” Liam was chuckling now, his eyes crinkling up with a grin that didn’t match the sinful pressure of his hand against Zayn’s dick, “It’s not fair that I see your face everytime I’m with her. How pathetic does that make me?” He was nuzzling his face against Zayn’s cheek and Zayn couldn’t fucking move, “What’s worse is that I already imagined kissing you hundreds of times before, Zee ... but now, _fuck_.”

Liam brought his lips so close to Zayn’s that they only just brushed against each other, making a small groan break from Zyan, “now that I know what it’s like to kiss you … fuck if I’ll ever want to forget it.”

Zayn knew he was gonna regret this later, but he was hard and Liam’s fingers were dancing against his waistband so invitingly. So, recklessly Zayn whispered against Liam’s lips, “you don’t have to pretend she’s me anymore because I’m right fucking here,” and Zayn brought his hands up to cup Liam’s face roughly and closed the almost non-existent gap between their lips.

Zayn kissed Liam roughly, he kissed him because he was mad, because he needed to feel Liam’s lips glide against his own like he needed water. Zayn bit darn hard on Liam’s plump bottom lip and sucked, making Liam gasp. They continued to kiss breathlessly, as if they were making up for lost time. Liam shoving against him, molding their bodies together, pressing him further into the wall, mouth hungry for Zayn, as Zayn grabbed a hold of Liam’s hair, arms, chest, tugging and scratching whatever skin he could get under his fingers.

Zayn wanted to break him, ruin him the way Liam ruined him all those months ago.

Zayn pushed up off the wall and lead them back to the couch the private room provided, their lips never leaving each other.

“Zayn, I’m so sorry … sorry for everything.” Liam choked out the words as he fell back against the couch holding onto Zayn’s body so closely, bring him down on top of him.

Zayn was pissed, he didn’t want an apology. Not now, not after everything.

“Are you still with Danielle?” Zayn asked, bracketing Liam’s body with his arms, putting his whole weight on top of Liam. Zayn just searched his eyes, his wonderful brown loving eyes that he wanted to belong to him …

“I … “ Liam couldn’t finish his sentence, so Zayn kissed him again lightly.

“Liam, are you still with her, just answer me.” he said softly, his lips still against the other boy.

“Yes,” Liam said, his voice sounding so broken to Zayn.

“Then stop talking.” Zayn reconnected their lips before Liam could protest and this time he wasn’t playing around. Zayn slid his thigh between Liam’s leg and he could feel Liam’s cock so big against his thigh. Jesus he wanted to see it so bad, feel it, taste it. Zayn pushed his leg further against Liam’s dick as he kissed down Liam’s neck. He could feel Liam going limp underneath him, both of them choosing not to think, not to question the repercussions of their actions. Right now it was just them, they weren’t in a boyband, they weren’t famous, they didn’t have a girlfriend, and they weren’t hiding unrequited feelings.

“Zayn, can I?” Liam asked breathlessly, his fingers at the hem of Zayn’s shirt, and Zayn just nodded as he lifted himself off Liam’s chest, now straddling him. He shucked off his shirt quickly and looked down at Liam, smirking. Liam just smiled back and lifted off the couch as best he could with Zayn’s legs around him. They both managed to rid Liam of his shirt, kissing and laughing until he was finally free. Zayn pushed him back down with his palm flat against his abs and he just breathed in the sight.

“Goddammit, Li,” Zayn said, allowing his fingers to graze over Liam’s skin, “you’re so hot, no wonder I’m crazy about you.” Liam smiled so bright as his words, his eyes lighting up and even in the dark room Zayn could see a blush coming up on his cheeks.

“You don’t even see yourself, do you mate,” Liam said, sitting up slightly so Zayn was almost sitting on him now, “gorgeous, you are,” Liam said, awe in his voice, as he brought his lips to Zayn’s stomach and the butterflies that lived there fucking broke free as he peppered kisses across his belly, “I don’t even begin to compare.”

“It’s not a competition, Li,” Zayn said and he took Liam’s hand and placed it on his still clothed cock, straining against his pants, “Can’t you feel how you make me feel?” and Liam took the bait, pushing down against Zayn’s erection and he lost his words for a moment. “Shit … ah, fuck, right there, Li … Jesus, can’t you see what you do to me everyday?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Liam said looking at Zayn directly, his eyes black with heat, “everyone knows but you … but I never in a million years expected you, perfect, wonderfully, beautiful you, to ever actually look at me the way you are now.”

“I’ve always looked at you like this,” Zayn said, pressing his thighs down against Liam’s hips, closing his eyes as their cocks pushed together and shit _why weren’t they naked yet?_ He opened his eyes again, looking straight into Liam’s, “but maybe now you finally see it.”

“I don’t want to ever unsee it, not ever,” and Liam flipped them over, strong arms around Zayn’s bare chest, and he laid him flat against the couch. “Jeans off,” he whispered into Zayn’s mouth, a smile playing across his lips as his hands were already on his button, then his zipper. Liam was shrugging him out of his pants, laughing as he threw off Zayn’s shoes, and then without warning pulled down Zayn’s boxers.

“Yes … Mmmmm, that’s so good, babe,” Liam said and he actually licked his lips. Zayn was sure his whole body turned a bright red.

How the fuck did he end up naked at a club on a couch with Liam calling him babe? Maybe he was gonna wake up and this was just gonna be one of his dreams again. But when Liam wrapped his large hand around Zayn’s throbbing cock he knew instantly this was no dream because _holy fuck_ nothing ever felt this good in his life.

“Oh my god, Li,” Zayn couldn’t think, he just wanted Liam to keep jerking him off and thankfully he wasn’t stopping. He crawled back up Zayn’s body, his hand moving swift and fast over his cock, precum already leaking out, making Liam’s hand slide even faster. Zayn was moaning out a string of _fuck shit fuck yes_ as Liam buried his nose in the crook of Zayn’s neck, kissing and biting his sensitive skin making everything go white.

Suddenly Liam stopped and Zayn was about to protest until he saw that Liam was unbuttoning his own jeans and pulling his fucking beautiful cock out of his pants. Zayn made an aborted noise as he saw that Liam was bringing their cocks together and started to jerk them off with one hand.

Oh

My

God

“ _Liam_ ,” Zayn was going to come and he didn’t want to, he wanted to feel this good for forever because the indescribable ecstasy of their cocks lining up and sliding together with their precum dribbling out and Liam’s goddam amazing hand pushing them both to the edge was beyond anything Zayn had ever felt in his whole goddam life.

Liam kept pumping them, his thumb sliding over Zayn’s slit, moving down and twisting them both at the base, making Zayn’s eyes roll back into his head. God in heaven, Liam’s hands were so big that this was easy for him and it was so incredibly sexy to witness; Zayn couldn’t look away. Liam was leaning over him, sweat on his forehead, lips swollen, eyes focused on his task, chest breathing heavy with every movement and Zayn just watched transfixed as this beautiful boy brought both of them closer and closer to their peak.

“Ahhh … shit, babe, I’m gonna come,” Zayn said, his voice breaking, his heart maybe going with it.

“Fuck, me too,” Liam said, jerking them off even faster and then Zayn lost it as Liam twisted his hand just so and whispered, _baby you feel so fucking good against me._

Zayn came with a cry and Liam was right after him, stroking them both through it, hand slick with their come, Liam breathing heavy into Zayn’s neck.

“I think I love you, Zayn.” Liam whispered, almost too low for Zayn to hear it, but he definitely heard it. Zayn swore he felt himself explode it a tiny million pieces.

But before Zayn could say anything, respond at all, say _I love you too_ or _are you going to leave Danielle?_ Or the most important one, _are you sure?_   there was a loud knock at the door crashing both of them to back to reality.

“Zayn, Liam! Are you in there?” It was Paddy, their head security, shouting through the door and oh god _how long had they been in here?_ “We’ve been looking everywhere for you, we’re leaving now!”

Both boys just looked at each other, their faces white, and without a word they got dressed, embarrassment filling the room fast and Zayn just couldn’t say anything. The moment was broken, he couldn’t respond now and also Liam was still with Danielle … like what the fuck kind of situation was this?

Once decent, they left the room, Paddy not saying a word to either of them, respecting their silence, as he brought them around the back of the club to a small side room where the other three were waiting for them.

“Where you been?” Niall shouted, slurring his words as he slumped onto Harry’s shoulder, who was consequently hunched over Louis who was somehow still upright, though his eyes were glazed over.

“We were … we were just talking some things out.” Liam said, looking at Zayn.

“Yea, talking it out.” Zayn agreed.

“Fucking finally,” Louis said, clapping Zayn on the back which caused Niall and Harry to shift off of him making them grumble irritatedly, but Zayn couldn’t really react, “did you figure it out? You guys friends again?”

“Are we Zayn? Are we friends again?” Liam looked at Zayn, his eyes so open.

“We’ve always been friends Li, you just gotta figure some things out don’t you?” Zayn said without blinking. He held his breath.

“I figured it out already, I think, don’t you?” Liam said, and Zayn saw that the three boys weren’t even paying attention anymore, all them still waiting for Paddy to come back with the car, practically falling asleep on each other.

“You think?” Zayn said, because Liam was getting close to him again but Zayn couldn’t. Not here, not now … not after everything. “Liam, you’re still with Danielle, yea?”

Liam’s eyes dropped to the ground and he nodded.

“Then it doesn’t matter.” And Zayn walked away from him, eyes brimming with tears as he followed Paddy and his drunk friends out to the car, leaving Liam to follow slowly behind him.

_I think I love you_

Well “I think” isn’t good enough.


End file.
